All About Shopping

Perhaps I have, indeed, lost my mind, but did anyone else see Calvin Klein’s Fall 2011 runway? I was appalled. I love CK for its simple designs and understated elegance and adored his Spring line. But this mess he threw up on stage (pun intended) reminded me of the worst private school uniform that I was ever asked to wear.

First of all the colors where black and gray. While this is typical to a Calvin Klein fashion show, the monotone outfits were then paired with garish white shoes typical to an old nurse’s orthopedic tennis shoes. Black, gray and white can be beautiful and striking. This time, with it’s silky sheen, it failed on both counts.

The second thing that melted my brain was the shape of the line. I weigh more than all of his models – combines and I have never seen a more shapeless assortment of bodies. The clothing pieces were all huge and tent-like. The shapes were asexual and unflattering, even to a runway model. If that is the case, I am hopeless. There was no leg, no cleavage, shoulders, or back to be shown in any of these looks. Just giant, silky black shifts reminiscent of The Golden Girls. There was nothing new, edgy or “designer” about these styles. I think I sewed these outfits when I was first learned to make clothes in the eighth grade.

Lastly, the hair looked like the model did not have access to a mirror. The models’ hair was styled in a mid-range ponytail but there was a tangle on the tops of their heads that looked like they had pulled their ponytails too tight, messed up their hair, and no one has told them yet.

Sigh, I guess there is always Ralph Lauren.

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